Deadpool vs Fredpool
by TGtornadoe
Summary: This Fan Fiction itroduces a new rival for Deadpool. The dangerous Australian who is also a total bad ass Fredpool There will be breaks in the fourth wall I promise
1. Chapter 1

Deadpool vs. Fredpool

Chapter 1

Talking sucks YELLING ROCKS!

In New York there is one place where anyone can have a good time. (as long as they're the legal drinking age). It's a place where the only person you don't want to mess with is the owner the incredible fast talker, the crazy, the merc with a mouth DEADPOOL! and what is this place that is apparently so great well it's CLUB DEADPOOL!

The high profile club includes a huge dance floor and a super charged jukebox named Gary. But now lets see about the owner who we've already given enough unnecessary praise to as it is.

"Excuse me" Deadpool what are you doing?

"What are you saying that I shouldn't get anymore praise" Well we just really need to get to the story

"Hey shut up for a second! Dude I'm Deadpool I literally am the definition of awesome" But how are you talking to me I'm the author?

"Well it's either that I'm aware this is a fan fiction or you're just a crazy righter of fan fiction either way it's just sad" I think I need to lie down for a minute.

"Don't worry buddy I'll take over the intro thing" Just don't give any spoilers.

"Pfft you're no fun. Anyway this club Deadpool but sometimes I like to call it club awesomeness. Oh wait gotta stop this intro for a second theirs a Mike Jackson song playing"

One Dance time later

"Yeah Billy Jean is not my lover. Oh wait we're back anyway this club deadpool ...hm I think that's been pointed out about three times now anyway this club Deadpool the private hang out for all the top assassins and since they're so top notch they have a lot of dough to blow and that means chuh-ching for me. Literally nowadays I'm up their with Bill Gates but the only reason he's richer than me is because he has a quote "legitimate business" Yeah right Microsoft is about as twisted as it gets and you know you can trust my opinion because I'm a crazy psychopath slash assassin who likes to wear a red and black suit that looks like it is very comfortable and just to let you know... it is really comfy.

Well I'm pretty sure he's just going to be going on like this for quite a while longer so how about we just get to the antagonist.

Far away in Australia a corrupt official is attempting to take a bribe from a president of a computer corporation.

"Microsoft" Shut Up Deadpool!

He is handed a check but is then shot through a window by an unknown assailant using a sniper rifle. The briber ran out but not before grabbing his check. The shooter then burst though the window and approached the official.

The injured man said struggling through to speak but managed to ask "Who are you?"

The red and black clad man knelt down and grabbed the officials face "I'm Fredpool"

Fredpool had a similar costume to Deadpool but the colours are reversed and his eyes are black apposed to the white dots Deadpool has for eyes. He also spoke with a strong Australian accent.

Fredpool then reached to his belt and pulled out a grenade which he placed in the officials mouth and pulled the pin. He then jumped out the window as the grenade blew up and landed in the street. He then ran to his bike and sped away before the police arrived.

"Don't tell me I'm going to have to fight this guy" That's what you get for interrupting the author.

Fredpool arrived at his employers headquarters and went into receive his pay.

He entered an office and sat down in front of a large desk. An man in a black suit entered and sat at the desk. The man had dark skin and looked very strong and was also a few feet taller than Fredpool who was about six feet tall.

The man slid an envelope across the table to Fredpool. Fredpool grabbed the envelope and tucked into one of the pockets on his belt.

The man then said "We have a new assignment for you Fredpool"

Fredpool replied "The bloke won't know what hits him boss and I promise you that he will be as dead as a shrimp on a barbie"

The man then said "Yes ... well this target is not a corrupt official or even in Australia as a matter of fact he is in new york and we believe he is somehow related to you. His name is Deadpool or Wade Wilson as some call him and he has become a well known assassin and he says he's the best in the world so I'm going to pay you to prove him wrong"

Fredpool then stood up and said "So when do I get going"

"I don't think this story is going anywhere" Shut up Deadpool it will take me a few chapters to get into the really deep story I have planned.

"Oh come on you don't have any story planned you just improv type all these stories"

...That's not true.

To Be continued

"Obviously"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Planes suck JETS ROCK!

Fredpool sat in a dark room lit only by his rage (not really) but still he was ticked off that someone had made their nick name so similar to his (although we all know it is really vice verse). A cargo bay door opened and Fredpool ran to it and jumped out. (Whoa!)

He fell hundreds of feet through before pulling a cord on his suit unveiling a parachute which allowed him to slowly descend down to the skyscrapers of New York. He cut off his parachute and tuck and rolled onto a building and took out a sniper rifle witch he aimed at club Deadpool.

He observed the large spot lights and huge Club Deadpool sign and said to himself "This bloke is just broadcasting his location. Maybe hes just an idiot or maybe it's just a very complex ploy to get me to lower my guard"

He then hopped down to a fire escape and began to make his way down to the street.

Down on street level Fredpool jumped into a car, then jumped out the other side of it and rolled across the street. He observed the line up of people and cut to the front of the line.

An angry bystander tapped on Fredpools shoulder and yelled "Hey buddy the line starts back there!"

Fredpool then grabbed the man in the and threw him into the street where he was then run over several times. The mans arm twitched a bit so Fredpool took out one of his hand guns and shot it off.

The usher at the end of the line asked in a fearful tone "Are you on the list?"

Fredpool clenched his hand into a fist witch unveiled his wrist mounted arm blade. He then stabbed the ushers list and said "Does it matter"

The usher took the velvet rope away from the door and Fredpool entered.

Inside he heard loud music and watched several people on a dance floor. He walked around looking for his target and suddenly heard a voice form behind him say "Hello my name is Gary"

Fredpool then stabbed at the voice behind him and immediately realized that he had just stabbed a jukebox.

The entire crowd gasped at this and Deadpool ran out and hugged the dead machine and cried "No! He was so young he had all the opportunities a jukebox could have. What am I going to tell his wife and kids. (Sigh) Alright lets get another Gary out here"

Two men in overalls then carried out a new jukebox and it said happily "Hi I'm Gary"

The crowd cheered as Fredpools eye twitched with confusion and he asked "Are you Deadpool?"

Deadpool looked the stranger over and said "What if I say yes"

Fredpool then pointed his arm Blade about a milometer away from his nose.

Deadpool then said "Yeah, in that case my name is Guy Incognito"

Fredpool then kicked Deadpool backward onto the dance floor. Deadpool immediately got back up and moon walked over to the bar and pulled out two machine guns and pointed them at Fredpool but before he could fire Fredpool ran to him and sliced them in half with his two arm blades.

Deadpool then dropped the half's that he was still holding and said "You seem like a nice guy why don't you have an ice cold Coca-Cola"

Deadpool then held up a coke but it was then cut in half by Fredpool. Deadpool lifted up his mask and took a sip and said "This is so not an ad. I hate Pepsi"

Fredpool yelled "I love Pepsi!"

Fredpool then punched Deadpool in the face knocking him over the bar. Deadpool instantly got back up now wearing a tuxedo and asked Fredpool "Well what do you want buddy urine flavoured or watered down urine flavour"

Fredpool paused for a moment and then said "That's disgusting"

Fredpool then grabbed Deadpool and thew him onto the dance floor. Fredpool then attempted to pummel Deadpool but Deadpool danced out of the way of his attacks.

Fredpool yelled in frustration and kicked Deadpool in the b !s.

Deadpool fell to the ground clutching his privates and yelled "Oh you kicked little Timmy and Johnny!"

Deadpool then hopped back up and took out his swords which slashed off his tuxedo. Deadpool then started to stab at Fredpool but the two assassins seemed evenly matched and dodged each others attacks. The crowd watched the fight and rooted for Deadpool. Fredpool then stepped on Deadpools toes causing him to for a moment lose his concentration. Fredpool then stabbed Deadpool in the head with his arm blades and Deadpool went limp.

Fredpool took Deadpools body off of his blade and dropped it on the ground. He then began to walk away, saying "Well I guess now we know who's the better assassin"

Fredpool was then spun around by Deadpool who due to his healing factor survived the impaling of his head. Deadpool took out a small knife and stabbed Fredpool in the chest. Fredpool stumbled back and pulled the knife out of his chest. Blood seeped out of the wound and Fredpool saw no other choice than to run.

Deadpool watched his fleeing opponent and yelled "Come back when you have a healing factor"

Deadpool then took out one of his guns and shot himself in the head to demonstrate the effectiveness of the healing factor.

Several hours later Fredpool (who was now recovering from his wound) was headed back to Australia.

Back at the headquarters his quarters. Fredpools employer (who had learned of Fredpools defeat) fired him but Fredpool simply killed him by throwing him out a window after jamming a grenade in his mouth, he then blew up before he even hit the ground.

Fredpool then went through all the data that his employer had found on Deadpool and read "Weapon X?"

To Be Continued


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Anything he can do I want to do better

Fredpool walked through a forest in the Canadian wilderness searching for a weapon X facility he had read about in Deadpools file. Fredpool walked near a building built into the side of a mountain. He walked closer to it and suddenly a bear came out from behind a bush and charged at Fredpool. Fredpool simply took a can of bear spray out his belt and sprayed it into the bears eyes without breaking his pace. Fredpool entered the facility and quickly realized that it was deserted. Fredpool then began to search for info on Deadpools healing factor

Back at Club Deadpool

"Hey!" Deadpool what are you doing I'm switching the perspective back to your club.

"Well sorry but the Club is closed on Saturdays" ...Wait but isn't that kind of stupid for a club to be...

"Like I just said the club is closed on Sundays" ...What! Why would it be closed on the weekends?

"No you see its not really closed at any time it's just that theirs this super awesome party happening that you're not invited to because ... well you suck" That was mean Deadpool (sniffle).

"Dude are you crying?" No my fingers just slipped several times.

"..." Shut UP!

"Well you might as well just switch the story back to Fredpool" Yeah that might be a good idea.

Anyway Fredpool searched for clues on how Deadpool got his healing factor and found documents on other people who had gained the amazing ability. He read reports on a certain subject who had metal claws and bones.

Fredpool then said to himself "How the heck does that work... Oh that's how it works"

Fredpool flipped through another file titled "Project WW" Fredpool remembered that Deadpools actual name was Wade Wilson so he read on.

The papers were dated around the end of the second World War.

Entry 1

A new candidate for the weapon X program has arrived and he shows extreme skill in hand to hand combat and the use of virtually any weapon. I look forward to seeing how he responds to the extreme tests that will be necessary to see if he is going to be compatible with the healing factor.

Entry 2

Wade Wilson has shown himself to be a very dark and serious man who has revealed he is an ex mercenary and talks as though he wants someone to say that he is forgiven for the jobs he has done. I am not sure how his Psyche will respond to the enhancements.

Entry 3

Wade has revealed to me that he is actually depending on the procedure to save his life due to his terminal lung cancer. I now wonder how his body will react to the cancer and if it will effect him in a negative way.

Entry 4

Wade was given the procedure that would make him all but indestructible. He failed to show signs of the healing factor being effective after tests and we have documented him as a failure. He will become part of the Scientists test dummies for how long humans can survive under intense pain and misery.

Entry 5

According to reports Wade has been surviving every attempt the Scientist has made at killing him. The Scientist has told me that he will no longer stand for the survivals and is going to go to the source. I have no idea what he means by this but I'm sure it will be successful.

Entry 6

Yesterday the Scientist was killed after he cut out Wades heart. We assume that the intense pain caused Wades healing factor to kick in and literally grow himself a new heart. Other failures were questioned and they all said that Wades skin had become completely covered in tumours and that he was spouting nonsense about being in a fan fiction and that the writer was somehow making continuity errors.

Entry 7

After further examination of the facility where Wade had escaped we found a message on the wall written in the scientists blood saying "I am Deadpool and you can kiss my a$$". Wade has been classified as a total and complete failure.

Fredpool closed the file and said to himself "Why the heck was ass spelt with dollar signs"

Fredpool looked over at another stack of files and read about a new facility and discovered it's location in...

"Whoa! we don't want to give away anything that could potentially break continuity so lets just say he went to where ever he was going" Stop interrupting me Deadpool!

Fredpool arrived at the Weapon X facility which was cleverly disguised as a bakery and after killing the desk clerk and searching for a while he eventually found the entrance. He entered the facility and saw several scientists in white lab coats. No one noticed Fredpool so he walked around freely. He observed some tests that were being done on mutants and humans alike and witnessed the terrible torture they were forced to endure.

Fredpool said in disgust "That's disgusting"

Almost every scientist suddenly looked over to Fredpool and Fredpool looked around at them.

One of the scientists asked "Um who are you?"

Fredpool turned to the Scientist and answered "I'm Fredpool"

The scientists then began to mutter to themselves and the Scientist continued "You wouldn't happen to know a person named Deadpool?"

Fredpool answered "Yeah annoying red, black, jerk, kind of a dick. Why do you no him?"

The Scientist then asked "I would assume you've fought him?"

Fredpool responded "Yeah but their was something that didn't seem right for example when I stabbed him he didn't die"

Another Scientist asked "Well why are you here?"

Fredpool ran to the Scientist and pushed one of his arm blades to his throat and said angrily "I want you to make me like him!"

Another Scientist went to go get a gun and attempted to shoot Fredpool but before he could Fredpool flinged a knife at his head killing him instantly.

The other Scientists backed off and the one who Fredpool was threatening said "You don't understand. The healing factor tends to drive those who are infused with it insane or lose their memories"

Fredpool stared into the Scientists eyes with an intense rage and said "I don't care just make me like him"

The Scientist nodded his head in agreement and Fredpool released him. Two other Scientists then led Fredpool to where they would commence the procedure that would make Fredpool practically invincible.

Several hours later

Fredpool is strapped down to a table as the Scientists begin the procedure.

Two Scientists watch from an over head observation room.

One of the Scientists said to another "Can you believe this fool really thinks getting the healing factor is that simple. Without any of the proper preparation or conditioning he will die from it"

The two watched as Fredpool was subjected to the procedure. Fredpool was not sedated due to his own insistence of wanting to know when pain no longer matters to him.

The Scientists watched as Fredpool squirmed from pain and soon saw that he was losing conciseness.

The Scientist then said "Well I'm pretty sure he's dead. Now who's going to call Jerry's wife and tell her he's dead"

The Scientist standing next to him then looked down at Fredpool and said "Uh sir he's twitching"

The Scientist looked down and said with shock "That shouldn't be happening"

Fredpool began to twitch more and one of the doctors who had worked on him attempted to simply slit his throat. He did this and watched as Fredools throat instantly healed. Fredpool then sat up as the other doctors stepped back in horror.

Fredpool then yelled out crazily "What's the good word salamander pigs!"

The Scientist who had slit Fredpools throat attempted run away. Fredpool then got off of the table and tackled him and began to beat his face in. The Doctor lied on the ground with his nose and mouth bleeding. Fredpool then took the knife the doctor had used to cut Fredpools throat.

Fredpool then said to him "Okay buddy lets see what happens if you get YOUR THROAT SLICED OPEN!"

Fredpool then slashed the doctors throat. Fredpool then stood up and looked around to see the other doctors had fled. He then rummaged around for his costume.

He walked outside of the room and proceeded to exit the facility. While going to the elevator he saw two burly guards headed towards him. Fredpool allowed the guards to pummel him and he watched his wounds heal instantly. Fredpool proceeded to kill the guards and then left the facility.

Outside he found himself walking around and uncontrollably killing everyone he saw. Fredpool then stumbled into the street and was struck by a Semi Truck. The Driver then got out to check on him and knelt down to check Fredpools pulse. Fredpool then grabbed his hand and twisted his fingers back The man fell backwards in pain and Fredpool then got into the truck and drove over him.

Now on the Road Fredpool was heading back to his nemesis in New York.

"Aw Crap I hope they don't mean me" Well who else would it be Deadpool

"...Chuck Norris...Mel Gibson... Nicki Minaj" Nicki Minaj?

"What? She's so annoying and between you and me I think she's fat. Oh who said that?" Deadpool shut up

To Be Continued


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Dance time is awesome

Deadpool sat at a piano in his club with a spot light shining down on him. He tilts his head back and stares up at the ceiling. He lifts his hand up and snaps his fingers repeatedly. He then began to play a very complex classical piece with one hand while snapping his fingers with his other hand. Deadpools fingers moved so fast that they began to smoke. He ended by running his hand along all of the keys and then stood up and tucked his seat in. He then walked a few feet away from the piano and then suddenly the piano blew up.

Deadpool then began to dance to an LMFAO song and said "Yeah slide pivot dotsee-doe then drop it down low"

Deadpool then jumped to into the air and slammed his fist to the ground. The song then stopped and Deadpool floated in the air and said in Slow motion " !"

Deadpool then fell to the ground instantly stood back up and yelled "Okay the partay has officially started!"

Suddenly multicoloured lights lit up all over the club to reveal several guests who then began to dance.

Deadpool walked over to the bar and yelled jokingly "Remember ladies clothing is not permitted!"

The entire club laughed at this and Deadpool then poured himself a glass of Hawaiian punch. Suddenly a semi truck burst through the wall which crashed into Deadool. The Truck slowed to a stop before killing any guests. Fredpool exited the truck and looked at the pile of rubble which now covered Deadpool.

Deadpool reached his hand out weakly holding a glass of Hawaiian punch and said "I think you could use a Hawaiian punch" Deadpool then burst out of the rubble and finished in a much more serious tone "To the face"

Deadpool then splashed the drink at Fredpools face and the entire crowd laughed. Fredpool also laughed sarcastically and then stabbed Deadpoolin the chest with one if his arm blades. Deadpool sighed and stabbed Fredpool in the head. Deadpool watched as his opponent wasn't even phased by the attack. Fredpool kicked Deadpool back.

A spotlight then shined on Deadpool as he said "Well I think this fight scene could use a little music"

A piano then slid out behind Deadpool and he began to play it. Fredpool walked up to Deadpool and smashed the piano.

Deadpool looked at him intensely and said trying to sound serious "You just killed the only thing that could have saved the dojo kid of Kingkalouamakuninga on the planet uranus pfffffftttt! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

Fredpool shook his head in disbelief and then punched Deadpool in the face but the crazed man simply continued laughing. Fredpool then pushed him to the ground and began to beat on him. Deadpool still laughed continuously. Fredpool then kicked Deadpool in the nuts and Deadpool instantly stopped laughing and stood up.

Deadpool shook his head slightly and said "No way man. You just kicked the twins and they did not appreciate it"

Deadpool then ducked a punch to the face and charged at him. Deadpool then pushed Fredpool outside the club and the two continued their fight in the street.

Fredpool and Deadpool fought with an impressive display of fighting styles. Fredpool fought with heavy weighted blows while Deadpool danced around and and landed quick blows when Fredpool missed. The two basically indestructible foes fought for so long that the crowd that had been watching began to leave.

After receiving another punch to the face Fredpool held up his hands and asked "Stop. What is the point of this?"

Deadpool paused for a moment and then through his arms up into the air and dropped to his knees and yelled "I don't know! This story has no point!"

Fredpool scratched his head and asked "What do you mean story?"

Deadpool stood back up and stared at Fredpool from about a half milometer away from his face and said "It's the story of your life! ?"

Fredpool asked "Well that was weird?"

Deadpool then said "Yeah I know that "what" took up a whole line"

Fredpool then said "No not your stupid fourth wall breaking nonsense. The fact that in my attempt to kill you I have made it so that neither of us can have the satisfaction of winning"

Deadpool then began to walk back to his club and said "I really didn't care that much before"

Fredpool then ran after Deadpool and asked as they walked "You know my old employer said that me and you might be related. So do you think we might actually be brothers or something?"

Deadpool entered his club and observed the truck that was still sticking through the wall. Deadpool then went to his office and sat down in a chair and turned his back to Fredpooll who sat at a chair in front of the desk.

Fredpool then asked "So are you curious about if we might be ... you know related?"

Deadpool turned back to face Fredpool but was now wearing a white suit and said "So bub-jub you come to me on the day of my daughters wedding to ask me if you and me are brothers from the same mother"

Fredpool then stood up and said with a bitter tone in his voice "Look buddy give me an answer that I can understand or in other words give me an actual answer"

Deadpool leaned back in his chair and said with a southern accent "Joe you are crazy as a hot fly on a July noon eating a huckleberry pie like a ..."

Fredpool slammed his hands down on the table and yelled "Why can't you take anything seriously"

Deadpool suddenly got out of his chair and looked out a window and said while looking at the moon "I don't take anything seriously because it's just not worth it. Think about it we are immortal to a certain extent so why should we spend our lives being angry and serious"

Fredpool walked over to Deadpool and placed his hand on his shoulder and asked "Wade don't you want to know?"

Deadpool returned to his happy go lucky nature and said cheerily "Okay buddy I'll go with you on your little adventure or what ever you want to call it"

Deadpool began to walk away and Fredpool asked "Where are you going?"

Deadpool replied "I'm going to get my underpants"

Fredpool asked "Why?"

Deadpool replied "Well if we're going on a trip then I'm going to need a few extra pairs"

Later

Deadpool and Fredpool boarded a plain headed for Australia where they would search Fredpools old place of employment for clues of his origins.

The End

"It's not the end"

Oh sorry

To Be Continued


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 4

I hate you you hate me

Deadpool and Fredpool sat in a luggage hold. Deadpool rummaged around in peoples suitcases and found several odd things such as a priceless painting, a huge ruby and several hotel towels.

Deadpool then said with shock "Stolen towels. Those fiends! I mean seriously who does that I shall go to the first class area of the plane where they most likely are and I will kill them and take their seats all while maintaining a sassy dance and while I'm there I might as well enjoy the fine beverages, food and other services provided by the amazing staff of New York city airlines"

Deadpool then remembered that he was not payed to do any adds.

Fredpool then yelled at him "I told you we're not going up to first class. We need to be sneaky and stay down here"

Deadpool then sat on a suitcase and asked "Soooo? Australian huh?"

Fredpool looked Deadool in the eye and asked "Yeah I'm an Aussie mate and I love it"

Deadpool then asked "Let me ask you something? Do you guys really put shrimps on barbies and has a dingo actually ever took someones baby"

Fredpool paused for a moment and responded "No we don't put shrimps on barbeques any more than other people and I have never heard of anyone getting their baby taking by a dingo... Why does everyone think that Australians are so weird?"

Deadpool then opened the suitcase he was sitting on and replied "Yeah I think doughnuts are great to but I just don't see what the point of the hole is... do you think it's actually a secret government conspiracy or is it just a trade secret"

Freddpool realized that Deadpool was listening to him at all. He then noticed what Deadpool had pulled out of the suitcase. IT WAS A BOMB!

Fredpool jumped to his feet and yelled "Dude get that thing out of here!"

Deadpool hesitated saying "But it's so shiny. I mean look at this thing it's like a crappen bomb from the future"

Fredpool shook his head in disbelief at Deadpool response to the bomb. He grabbed it away from Deadpool and attempted to find a way to get rid of it. Deadpool then tackled Fredpool and attempted to egt the bomb back. Fredpool kicked Deadpool away and ran around the luggage hold attempting to find a way to get rid of the death sentence in his hands. He eventually found a way out to the top of the airplane. He ran through the halls and smashed open one of the doors. Deadpool soon followed him and tackled Fredpool as he opened the door The two were then sucked out of the plane and began to plummet to the ground. The tumbled around through the air, both holding onto the bomb.

Deadpool yelled "Give me back my shiny thing!"

Fredpool then released the bomb and the distance between the two began to increase. Deadpool hugged his bomb and then suddenly realized that he was crashing down to the ground. He manoeuvred himself so he could glide over to Fredpool who was flailing his arms and legs wildly.

Deadpool then put his hands behind his head and crossed on leg over the other and said "So falling to your death huh?"

Fredpool yelled back "Yeah because of you!"

Deadpool nodded his head in agreement. Fredpool watched in horror as the distance between him and the ground slowly began to decrease.

Deadpool then began to hum and then sand "Don't stop thinking tomorrow dooped de doop it'll soon be here"

Fredpool stared at Deadpool coldly and then looked back down to the ground. Deadpool then held out the bomb and threw it away.

Fredpool asked "Well what do we do now?"

Deadpool replied "The only thing we can do. Lay back and try to get some sleep"

Fredpool looked back down t the ground and the two hit with tremendous impact. The two left two large craters in the ground. The two lied on the ground unmoving but after a wile Fredpools hand twitched and soon he was able to move around a little bit. Deadpool healed much faster and was up and doing his daily scratching routine before Fredpool even got up out of his crater.

But what happened to the bomb.

Shortly after Deadpool threw away the bomb it detonated killing a total of two birds.

Back at the landing crash sight. Fredpool finally had gotten back to his ... non stain on the ground state. Deadpool was busy doing yoga while Fredpool attempted to find out where they were.

Fredpool then kicked a rock and said with frustration "Well I have no clue where we are"

Deadpool then reached into his belt and took out a GPS "We're in ailartsuA"

Fredpool grabbed the GPS and looked at it "You're reading it backwards it says we're in Australia... Oh we're in Australia. Well that worked out rather well didn't it"

Deadpool then said "Well I told you that jumping out of a plane at several thousand feet in the air was a win win"

Fredpool was about to challenge the statement but then decided it wasn't worth it. Fredpool then began to walk away.

Deadpool called to him "Hey dude where are you going?"

Fredpool stopped and answered "Well we have to find a rode or something and the only way we're going to do that is to get moving"

Deadpool flopped onto his back and screamed in imaginary pain "Oh! My goodness greatness my knees hurt so much from that fall. Dud you'll have to carry me"

Fredpool simply began to walk away and Deadpool crawled after him.

The two walked for quite a while and Deadpool said obnoxiously "So what do you thinks happening on Sesame street?"

Fredpool ignored this comment. They eventually came to a rode. Hey waited for a car to drive by and eventually off in the distance they saw one car coming close. Deadpool walked to the edge of the rode and pulled up the leg of his pants revealing a hairy leg.

Fredpool asked "What the heck are you doing?"

Deadpool replied "Don't worry I saw this in a movie"

The car didn't slow down and actually drove straight at Deadpool. Deadpool stood his ground and was struck by the car, which simply went on driving. Fredpool helped the relatively unharmed Deadpool up onto his feet.

Deadpool then pointed down the rode and said dizzily "Oh look their are three more cars coming. Don't worry I'll tackle them"

Deadpool ran out into the street and was ran over by two of the three cars. The third car slowed down and the driver (an old fat man with a heavy southern accent).

The fat man asked "Sakes alive boy you just got run over two times"

Deadpool held up his hand weakly and said "Actually I think it was more like three times"

Fredpool then asked the fat man "Could you give us a lift to a nearby town or something?"

The fat man answered "I'd be glad you help out a few piggy's like you"

Deadpool and Fredpool looked at each other and they both noticed the strange remark. The two then entered the fat mans vehicle.

Deadpool and Fredpool then noticed several novelty plush pigs hanging from the roof. They all had several sharp objects poking through them.

Deadpool then grabbed the door handle but couldn't open it. He yelled in frustration "Stupid child proof locks!"

To Be Continued


	6. Chapter 6

Did he just call us Piggy's?

Several hours after Deadpool and Fredpool entered the fat southern mans car.

Deadpool and Fredpool now hang from from there hands which are bound in chains. They have apples jammed into their mouths and ...Wait a second this didn't happen

"Hey author dude shut up ... or um... stop typing. I'm taking this story in an entirely different direction"

So your direction is you and Fredpool being tortured and gagged by a fat southern guy who thinks your pigs.

"..."

Uh Deadpool

"Shut up and type the chapter you idiot"

Okay now let's get this chapter started. Okay Deadpool and Fredpool were dropped off in a nearby town by the fat southern man. They explored the town to try and find a new mode of transportation back to the city where Fredpools bosses headquarters used to be. Several people stared at the strange costumed men but Deadpool simply thought they were just attracted to his rugged good look. Their I said it are you happy now

"Well you also left out strong, quick witted, fearless and sexy"

Fredpool then asked "Who are you talking to?"

Deadpool replied "Just the guy who writes this story. You probably won't understand it's a thing that only the awesome can comprehend"

Fredpool and Deadpool continued through the town but found no one who could help them. Suddenly they heard a scream for help. Fredpool ran towards the scream while Deadpool skipped. The two found the source of the scream.

A gang of thugs surrounded a young girl and one of them asked "So you don't think you have to pay protection from the kangaroo clan eh?"

The girl yelled back defiantly, she had an Australian accent "You have already taken everything from me. I have no money or jewels"

A large muscular thug in a green shirt and brown pants grabbed the girl and said "Oh we haven't taken everything we can get from you my little lovely"

The muscular thug then forced the girl into a kiss. The girl then kicked the man in between the legs and he collapsed to the ground the man got back up and slapped the girl. Fredpool then ran at the man.

The muscular thug asked jokingly "Who's this bloke?"

Fredpool then punched the man in the face. Fredpool then went into a boxing stance as the man took a swing at him. Fredpool dodged the punch and punched the man again.

The man then stumbled back and leaned himself against the corner of the building.

Deadpool then pulled Fredpool back to a corner and said "Okay bud you got him on the ropes" Deadpool then poured a bottle of water on Fredpools head "Just remember what I taught you back in Little Tokyo the right left upper cut left upper cut right right left right upper cut head butt moonwalk charlie denials style upper cut and then finish him with a rocket launcher shot to the b !s" Deadpool then pushed Fredpool out towards the thug.

Fredpool simply punched the thug one more time and he was knocked out cold.

Deadpool then walked up to Fredpool and said "That works to"

The girl ran to Fredpool and hugged him as the rest of the thugs closed in.

Deadpool began to tap his foot and the faint sound of a Cascada song ("Evacuate the dance floor") began playing. Deadpool through up his hands and the group was then covered in a black light. Deadpool then moon walked over to a thug and took out a katana and slashed him. He then back flipped over a thug and then stabbed him in the back "yeah I never miss a beat" Deadpool then took out a machine gun from out of nowhere and donned a pair of sun glasses. "Evacuate the alley way" He then began to fire at the thugs while still keeping time to the song. One slender thug then flipped around in front of Deadpool and began break dancing. The thug then flipped himself up and stared angrily at Deadpool. Deadpool then took out a hand gun and shot him in the face.

The song then stopped playing and the black light disappeared.

The girl then asked "What the heck are you?"

Deadpool grabbed himself like Michael Jackson and let out a loud "Hee Hee. I'm Deadpool and that butt saving will cost you twenty bucks"

Fredpool then told the girl "He's joking"

Deadpool then interrupted "No I'm really not"

The girl then kissed Fredpool on the cheek and said before running off "Thank you for saving me"

Deadpool then interrupted again asking "Do I get a kiss?"

The girl then ran away from the two strangers.

Deadpool then smacked Fredpool in the head and yelled "You durn fool you just cost me twenty bucks of money, moolah, the root of all evil Robert Deniros"

Fredpool ignores the comment and they again begin trying to find a mode of transportation. The girl then came running back and asked "Would you two like to join me and my father for supper?"

Deadpool pulled back a part a back of his sleeve and looked at his watch and commented "Supper? But it's like 3 o'clock in the afternoon"

Fredpool then corrected him saying "You didn't set your watch to Australian time" Fredpool then answered the girl "Yeah we'll come to supper"

Deadpool then whispered in Fredpools ear "They aren't going to be serving Kangaroos steaks or anything like that right?"

Fredpool ignored the disgusting remark and the two headed off for supper.

Later at the girls house the two similar named assassins discovered that the girls father was actually the fat man they had met before. After the meal the two were given the car that the fat man owned as a reward for saving his daughter. Fredpool obviously drove because Deadpool couldn't drive a car that he didn't classify as awesome.

Before they left the girl (just for your information is about 18 or 19) once again kissed Fredpool and refused to kiss Deadpool.

As the two drove off the fat man yelled "You take care of yourselves piggies"

Deadpool and Fredpool were then off once off on their epic adventure of epicness and goodness and to be perfectly honest I think I might end the chapter here before I accidentally type something embarrassing like I love Hello Kitty ... STUPID BROKEN DELETE BUTTON!

"So this is the end of the chapter?"

Yes

"So your not going to type anything else?"

I guess so

"So I guess it's annoying that I keep asking questions?

Little bit

"Well what ever. Hey anyone who read this tell this joke of an author what you think of his story and don't spare any rude words because he can take it... but just to let you know I don't take bad reviews very good Ha Ha Ha contradiction of things that have been said before when I said them ha... What are you still reading this for. Go out and get a girl friend or something you clod hoppers and if your a lady then ... eh get a girl friend anyway"


	7. Chapter 7

I can drive a stick but not an automatic

Deadpool and Fredpool drove in the fat mans car towards their destination which was in Sydney. Fredpool drove while Deadpool sat in the passenger seat and stared out the window.

"No I'm staring at the window. It's amazing man it's so so ...transparent"

...What ever. Anyway Deadpool stared "at" the window while Fredpool concentrated on driving. Deadpool then began to fiddle with his seat.

"Where the heck is the seat adjuster on this stupid seat?" he asked seemingly no one. Deadpool bent himself down as Fredpool drove onto a bridge. Deadpool continually began to search for the seat adjuster (their was no seat adjuster). Deadpools rear end poked up and accidentally bumped Fredpool.

"Watch it!" He said. Fredpool then took a sniff of the air and asked "Did you just let loose a drafter?"

Deadpool replied "Yeah sorry about that man I shouldn't of had all those tacos and beans and watermelon"

Fredpool held his nose so he couldn't smell the foul odour. Deadpool then resumed sitting normally. He then also took a sniff of the air and said "Okay that wasn't me I know what I smell like and that was not me" Deadpool then began to look in the back seat "Their must be someone else back hear who's farting"

Fredpool tried to concentrate on driving as Deadpool continually accidentally kicked him in the head while searching for the non existent intruder. Deadpool then began to kick harder and more precisely at Fredpools head. Fredpool eventually began to be flustered by Deadpools actions.

"What the heck are you doing?" (Kick) "You're doing that on purpose" Fredpool then listened and he could hear Deadpool muttering to himself.

"(Snore) That sea monkeys got a gun (Snoore) No get away you cactus I'll chop you with my haggis (Snooore) No why would I order the small bra when I'm a large (Snoooore) I'm telling you officer that cow just flew in here with a jet pack (Snoooooore) and no I don't have any drugs except for these ones I got from that nice old lady (Snoooooooore!)" It didn't take a genius to tell that he was asleep.

Fredpool then attempted to ignore him but Deadpool persisted in kicking him. Deadpool then chuckled quietly. Fredpool then realized that Deadpool actually was kicking him in the head on purpose. Fredpool then unsheathed one of his arm blades and stabbed Deadpool in the butt.

Deadpool instantly screamed "Oh sweet mother of Ryan Reynolds that smarts!" Deadpool then attempted to sit down but found that his butt was far too sore. "You do realize I'm going to have to kill us both now right"

Deadpool then grabbed the wheel and yanked it to the side causing them to go off the bridge. Fredpool said nothing but just stared angrily at Deadpool as Deadpool attempted to undue his seat belt "Dog gone child proof piece of sh..." Fredpool then pushed down the release button and freed Deadpool of his seat belty confinement. The two then bailed out of the vehicle as it hit the water.

The two then surfaced and Fredpool then began to strangle Deadpool. Deadpool squeaked out "Come on bro have a sense of humour about this"

Fredpool then released Deadpool and said in a frustrated tone "Well at least it can't get any worse"

A huge blue whale then surfaced and swallowed the two.

Fredpool and Deadpool waded in the water inside the whales mouth.

Deadpool then padded over to Fredpool and said "Eh don't worry bud. It will be just like in Finding Nemo. We'll just get shot out of it's big hole thingy majigy contraption"

Fredpool then responded "No Deadpool we're to big we'll have to go through this thing the hard way ... or in other words the more smelly, disgusting and crappy way"

"No!"

"Yes"

About 8 hours later.

The two resurfaced off shore of Sydney. Fredpool reached the surface gasping for air while Deadpool reached the surface calmly with a sea monster inner tube around his waist. Fredpool looked at the ridiculous thing and popped it with one of his wrist blades.

Deadpool then fell back into the water and then burst out flopping his arms around and yelling "Save me Jesus you owe me for that time I lent you my car and you banged it up"

Fredpool then began to drag Deadpool to shore. Fredpool carried Deadpool onto a beach and dropped him.

Deadpool then spoke in a bad southern accent and asked "Jo... Joey did we make it to candy mountain (gasp) did we find the dojo kid of candy island (sob) do you think I can have a doughnut some day (desperate life grabbing gasp) with sprinkles"

Fredpool simply walked away and Deadpool soon got up and followed him. Fredpool walked into the city and went in the direction of his old place of employment.

About an hour later Deadpool and Fredpool finally arrived at their long ventured to destination.

Fredpool observed the increased security around the large building while Deadpool also peeked around a corner snacking on cotton candy.

"Where did you get that?" Fredpool asked

Deadpool replied "Eh. I stole it from a four year old"

"Well how are even eating that? You have a mask on"

"Well I guess it's just one of those mysteries"

"One of what mysteries"

"Exactly"

Fredpool then walked back into the alley way they were spying from and sighed. "You know Deadpool I don't want you to get me wrong you know. I really enjoyed jumping out of a plane, driving off of a bridge and being (shudder) digested by a whale"

"But?"

"Well it's just that I don't really want you to ... you know get me killed"

"But we can't be killed remember the healing factor" Deadpool then shot himself in the head again to demonstrate.

"Fine I don't want you to get me shot any more times than I need to"

Deadpool then began to sob and said in a squeaky voice "Please let me go with you Fredpool. It's ever so lonely out here in Sydney"

Fredpool then raised an eye row which you couldn't see because of his mask and said "You know their are tons of things to do. Like there's a casino right over there"

Fredpool pointed to where the casino was and then turned back to see a cloud of smoke where Deadool used to be. "We'll that takes care of him" Fredpool said.

Later Fredpool began his invasion of the building. He donned a homeless man disguise and walked up to one of the two guards in front of the rear gate. Fredpool began to poke at one of the guards. The guard then pushed the disguised Fredpool down and kicked him. The other guard laughed and then went over to join i on the beat down. Once the two were both attacking Fredpool he made his move. Fredpool grabbed the shirt of one guard and stabbed him in the chest (and through the heart) killing him instantly and without a sound. Fredpool then grabbed the other guard and covered his mouth with his hand and twisted his neck slowly to one side until it snapped. Fredpool then discarded his disguise and took the keys for the gate from one of the dead guards and the opened the gate. Fredpool then stopped and picked up one of the hand guns from one of the guards and then entered the building.

Over in the casino Deadpool (now wearing a white tuxedo) surrounded himself with gorgeous women who he was convinced liked him for his rugged tumour filled skin. Deadpool threw a pair of dice down a table and they rolled to a seven.

The group of girls cheered and one asked "So where did you get all that money?"

"Well I stole most of it out of my bro's wallet and the rest I also stole from my bro's wallet so in other words I have my bro's wallet and he is loaded"

Deadpool threw the dice again and they on a six and a two. Deadpool then took out a hand gun and shot the dice, spinning over the two to a one.

Deadpool then grabbed two drinks from a waiter and yelled "My brothers paying for this suit so..." Deadpool then dumped the drinks on his suit which turned it to an awful brownish yellow colour. Deadpool then ripped off the suit as if it were tissue paper and revealed another perfectly clean suit underneath it.

Back with Fredpool. Fredpool managed to infiltrate the building and was now making his way to where all files on agents were. Fredpool entered the file room and began to search for his own file. He then heard a buzzing sound and turned to see a security camera on the roof slowly panning in Fredpools direction. Fredpool then dived behind a shelf and waited for the camera to look away. Fredpool then crawled along the floor over to the camera. He and reached for the camera and opened a panel. He then too a pair of wire cutters out of his belt and cut a wire, turning off the camera.

In a dark room lit only by T.V screens a man in a black suit turned his chair and pushed a button on an intercom and said "Iron Stan would you mind disposing of the intruder we have in the file room"

Fredpool then began to search through the files again and just as he found it a door opened behind him.

Fredpool turned to see and old friend of his. The green armour clad Iron Stan.

"Iron Stan me old buddy. I see you still need that old tin tube to live. I was just picking up my file and since I've found it I'll just be out of your way"

Fredpool then attempted to walk around Iron Stan but was punched in the face.

Iron Stan then said in a metallic voice "No. The new boss is not as lenient as his father, whom you killed. He's also not very happy about that"

Fredpool then sighed and asked "Well I guess I'm going to have to go through you to get out of here?"

Iron Stan then replied "Yes"

To e Continued


	8. Chapter 8

NNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDD!

Iron Stan swung his arm at Fredpool who dodged under at then with one of his arm blades he stabbed Iron Stan in the ribs. Iron Stan wasn't even phased. Iron Stan then grabbed Fredpool arm and and whirled him around and threw him at a wall. Fredpool smashed through the wall and lay on the ground in pain as Iron Stan made his way though the broken wall. Stan then knelt down and grabbed Fredpool by the throat and held him three feet off the ground. The end of Stans fingers turned sharp and pointy, he then slashed at Fredpools face which instantly healed.

Fredpool chuckled and said "Neat trick eh. Let me show you another one!"

Fredpool then kicked his feet against Stans chest. Stan then lost his grip of Fredpool and went into a fighting stance as Fredpool slashed at him with his blades. Fredpool proved to fast for Stan as the metal man slowly succumbed to the multiple stab wounds. (Note: Iron Stan is tough but he's not invincible)

Back in the Casino where Deadpool was

"Actually I'm not there anymore I decided to go check on my buddy Fredpools progress"

So in other words you spent all his money

"Exactly"

Deadpool walked up to the gate which was still open and said as he passed the two dead guards "Tsk tsk tsk. Dead on the job"

Deadpool then entered the building.

Fredpool stood before the injured Stan and said "Well buddy I guess I've beaten ya. No hard feelings eh"

Fredpool then heard someone walk up behind him

"It's me isn't it"

No Deadpool it's not you!

"It has to be me who else would it be?"

It could be anyone with legs

"I can arrange for me to be the only person with legs"

SHUT UP DEADPOOL!

Fredpool turned to face the new son of Fredpools old boss. The man stood with a big hunch in his back, thick glasses, a dorky yellow tie, a black suit and a pocket protector.

He held the file that contained the information on Fredpool.

The man asked in a deep serious voice that did not seem to match up with his appearance "I believe this is what you were looking for Reginald?"

Fredpool walked over to the dorky man and grabbed the file and pushed the man away, he then began to read.

Deadpool then entered with his classic moon walk and attempted to read over Fredpools shoulder.

File entry#36

Found promising new subject today who seemed to have been raised by dingos in the wild.

"I knew their was truth to that"

Entry#37

Upon DNA research we have discovered that the boy is a Canadian named Reginald Wilson. The boy shows spunk and it took three basic guards to subdue him and bring him back for training. I believe he will be a great asset to us granted that he learns to forget about his former life.

Fredpool stopped reading and asked Deadool "So we are brothers?"

Deadpool replied "Well this story isn't canon to any other continuities so I guess so"

Fredpool scratched his head and asked "Well how did I end up with a bunch of Dingos?"

Deadpool snapped his fingers and said "Eureka I've cliched it. I apparently remember a long time ago my family went on a trip to Australia and one day I dumped my stupid little bro in the outback"

Fredpool sniffled for a moment and asked "What? Why would you do something like that?"

Deadpool replied "Well you were unbelievably annoying. You were always asking where the bathroom was and when we were going for lunch and I could go on and on" Fredpool stared at Deadpool angrily and Deadpool chuckled for a moment and then asked "What?"

Fredpool then yelled "YOU LEFT ME TO DIE WITH BUNCH OF DANG DINGOS YOU SON OF A DICTH" (no that is not a spelling error)

"I didn't leave you to die. I just left you to live with those nice dingos which inadvertently caused a horrible stereotype of Australians losing their babies to dingos which really would be quite tragic but yet never fails to amuse me ... Ha dingos" Deadpool then looked Fredpool in the eye and asked "What were we talking about?"

Fredpool then stepped back from Deadpool and angrily grunted and groaned.

The dorky looking man then asked Deadpool to leave. Deadpool refused but was then thrown out window by Fredpool.

Deadpool struck the ground and said in an a confused tone "Hm I think he's mad at me ... if only I knew why ... Oh yeah it's because ... no wait I lost it again"

Deadpool then stood up and dusted himself off then proceeded to walk back to his club.

Back in the building the dorky man welcomed Fredpool back into his organization. Iron Stan also held no hard feelings towards Fredpool even after he was attacked by him.

Several days later Fredpool had been totally re-assimilated into his old line of work (killing people for huge amounts of money) but the new boss had a different direction in which he would like his operatives to go.

The Dorky man called his employees including Fredpool, Iron Stan and a mysterious new assassin who dresses in a costume similar to that of a certain wall crawler except black and red.

The boss explained his new direction "Okay first off I would like to thank everyone for coming especially our newest operative Roy" Roy (you know the black and red guy) stood up and waved to everybody and then partially lifted up his mask and chugged a Red Bull. The boss then continued "Okay well as you could guess my Dad never really tried to have his agency become anything more than an agency for assassins to kill people without having to find the people to kill themselves. Well you see my new plan is for us all to get involved in the military"

The crowd hushed for a moment and then one person blurted out "That's a stupid idea you stupid stupid head filled with all your stupid ideas and stupid thoughts and stupid ..."

The person continued to ramble on until the boss nodded to Roy who then ran over to the loud mouth with incredible speed (due to the red bull) and pushed the man out of a window. The loud mouth yelled the entire way down until he hit the ground (killing him).

Roy then turned to the others and said in a high pitched voice "Don't worry. He's fine"

The boss then continued his speech "Like I was saying. We need to expand our horizons to more militaristic outlooks. I have started switching your contracts from assassinations to military assaults. Let's see here" The boss began to look at a list of assassins and their destinations "Okay Fredpool, Iron Stan and Roy you will be attacking New York City"

Roy then walked over to Iron Stan and Fredpool and said in his high pitched squeaky voice "Oh Boy! This is going to be so cool, you know us three causing wide spread panic and more importantly killing peeeeeooooooopppppllllllleee e" Roys speech then bean to slur and he then chugged another Red Bull and continued "Yeah! Woo!"

Fredpool contemplated the move from assassin to soldier but more importantly thought about the relevance of the move. While Iron Stan due to being mostly circuitry implanted into a man to make him near invincible yet completely obedient.

Back in New York Deadpool walked to his club and entered it to find no one there. Deadpool then walked over to the bar and sat down. He then looked over to Gary the jukebox and asked "Gary I think I'm conflicted. Something in my past has come back to haunt me and I'm not sure what to do about it. I mean I've tried dancing, shooting, stabbing, killing, killing by stabbing, shooting and dancing and I've even tried watching Titanic but I just can't understand why Leonardo DiCraprio ever managed to get together with the the red head and BAH! I'm getting off topic. Well anyway what do you think I should do about Fredpool?"

Gary then replied "Don't ask me I'm just a jukebox"

Deadpool then chuckled and patted Gary and said "You sure are Gary"

To BE Continued


	9. Chapter 9

AAAAHHHHH! Alien invasion... No wait Australian invasion

Fredpool walked to the door of a cargo plane which was transporting him Iron Stan and Roy to New York where they would begin their terrorist attack. Fredpool stared out the door. Fredpool had been told to switch his costume from his red and black costume with a new suit. The new suit consisted of :

"Look can we just skip the description and tell everyone it looks like the new Goblins outfit from Spider-man 3"

Deadpool we can't mention other continuities.

"Why?"

Because ... Shut up Deadpool. So Yeah the costume looked like the new Goblin except it's red where it should be green.

Fredpool continued to stair out as Roy approached, walking in his unusual fashion. (He sticks his arms way out in front of him while taking large strides with his legs, and sticking his shoulders backwards resulting in a very awkward appearance)

Roy asked in his high pitched screechy voice "Suuuuuuuuuuuup Man!?"

Fredpool turned his head slightly and replied "Eh nothing I guess"

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeellll you seeeeem kind of bummed out man. Is their a bug up your butt or what" Said Roy.

Fredpool stared at Roy and said "Why do you ask?"

"Weeeeeel you seeeeeem kind of bummmmmed out man" said Roy

"Yeah. You said that already. Anyway I'm just not really content with this whole terrorism thing" Said Fredpool.

"It's not terrorism maaan it's a miltitary oppooooooration" Said Roy

Fredpool rejected the statement saying "No! When people do something and they deserve to be attacked then it's military when it's just totally random then it's terrorism"

Roy then said "Who are youhoohoooo to say what's right and wrong maaaan. You're an assassino and that ain't exactly legit yo"

Fredpool looked at the floor and said "Well I didn't decide to be an assassin or assassino as you say. I was just kind of thrown into this life... Isn't their something you'd rather do than this?"

Roy looked out the door and said in a normal voice "Well ... Well I always dreamed of being a game show host but when I auditioned they ...(chokes up a bit) they told me I was to short... So I decided if I couldn't entertain people I might as well just kill them"

Fredpool stared at Roy who was currently scratching his butt and asked "Seriously. You a game show host" Roy then stopped scratching himself and stared angrily at Fredpool "(Sarcastic) Oh yeah Roy I could really see you as the host of the price is right or something"

Roy then interrupted saying "No my show would be like something where the contestants need to guess words or something and I would it call Secret Word also I my hook would be me making the contestants say stupid things like. Yellowtailbalckfish or something"

The two then turned to see Iron Stan approaching. He said while walking towards them "I am to lead the first wave of troops against the target city" He then turned to look a the soldiers behind him who were also walking towards the opened cargo door. "Come on, we're dropping in now"

Iron Stan then jumped out of the plane and quickly began to plummet down to the city below. He struck a building and smashed straight through it at an angle. He then slammed into the streets. Civilians gathered to look at the metal man that had fallen. Iron Stan then stood up and crawled out of the small crater he had made. He then proceeded to unveil a large cannon out of his forearm. He aimed it at police who had just arrived at the scene. The officers shot at Iron Stan for a moment before they were then blasted away by Iron Stans gun (which worked much like a repulsor ray). The officers were blown back by the volley of shots.

Slowly the other soldiers began to drop from the plane that still contained Roy and Fredpool.

Roy looked down at the already widespread destruction. He then turned to Fredpool and said "Well see ya later" Roy then limply fell out of the plane. He fell for a moment or two before pulling his parachute . As he slowly fell to the ground Roy took out a can of Red Bull and chugged it. Roy then took out two knives and cut the parachutes straps. He then fell to the ground and tumbled to break his fall. He then walked behind a cop, took out a hand gun and then shot the cop. Roy then back flipped and yelled "OH YEAH! It's time to kill some punks!"

Fredpool looked down and was disgusted by the needles violence against people who hadn't done anything to deserve it. Fredpool then jumped out of the plane and plummeted down. He unsheathed his wrist blades and right before hitting the ground stabbed them into Iron Stan's back. Iron Stan then attempted to shake Fredpool off but failed. Fredpool then took out one of his blades and attempted to stab Iron Stan in the head but was shot by Roy before he could. Roy then shot Fredpool again which sent him flying off of Iron Stan.

Soldiers then approached Fredpool and fired at him with their automatic weapons. These attacks did little to Fredpool and Fredpool then began to attack the soldiers. Fredpool charged at one of the solders and stabbed him in the throat. He then swung the soldier around and flung him into another Fredpool then stabbed another soldier in the throat. Iron Stan then grabbed Fredpool by the throat and flung him into a store. Roy then took out a grenade and pulled the pin, he then threw it into the store.

"OOH I know what's going to happen"

(Groans) Fine Deadpool what's going to happen?

"The grenade is going to blow up into a big blast of rainbow cotton candy and bring world peace"

... No ... That's not what's going to happen ... let's just get back to the story.

The grenade then blew up. Iron Stan, Roy and the soldiers assumed the explosion had killed Fredpool so they went back to terrorizing the city.

... Needless to say the grenade didn't kill Fredpool. Instead it simply left in him in a lot of pain. Fredpool slowly made his way out the back door of the building which brought him into an alley. He then made his way out of the alley and looked across the street to see Club Deadpool. Fredpool then realized that the only way he could stop both Roy and Iron Stan was to get help from the one person that he found the most annoying in the entire universe.

"It' me isn't it"

Yes Deadpool you are the most annoying person in the universe

"Whoo hoo! I knew it!"

Fredpool walked across the street and entered Club Deadpool. Fredpool looked around the club to see Deadpool sitting in the middle of the dance floor with several hundred bottles around him. Fredpool walked around the bottles and tapped Deadpool on the shoulder. Deadpool then fell over. Fredpool then realized that Deadpool was drunk out of his mind.

Deadpool then raised a hand and said "Please come back later we're having reno(burp)vations"

Fredpool then yelled "Yo Deadpool!"

"Deadpool then said "Wait I know that annoying accent it's Enrique Eglasias ... wait a minute I hate that guy. No wait I know who you are" Deadpool then hopped up to his feet and yelled "Fredpool you came back to apologize for what you said about me. That's great so what would you like to apologize for first"

Fredpool Raised an eyebrow and replied "You left me with dingos in Australia ... I'm not apologizing for anything"

"Well had to try" Said Deadpool.

Fredpool then began to explain the situation "Okay Deadpool Iron Stan and Roy are attacking New York and we need to stop them"

Deadpool then replied "Neh"

"Wait what do you mean Neh" Asked Fredpool. "You can't just stand by and let hundreds of innocent people get killed"

Deadpool then said "Actually I think it would be more like thousands but what ever"

Wouldn't you even feel bad about it?" Asked Fredpool.

Deadpool walked over to the bar and hopped up to lie on the bar and replied "No not really"

Fredpool walked over to the bar and said Come on Deadpool you owe me"

"How?" asked Deadpool

Fredpool stared at Deadpool for a moment and said "You left me with dingos ... I'm pretty sure that's a strike against you"

Deadpool sat up and said "Well what are you going to do about it?"

Fredpool looked up into the air and said "Let's see you left me with dingos, stabbed me, made me fall out of an air plane, then you got me digested by a whale and the icing on the cake you got made me to do all this without just telling me that you left with STUPID DINGOS!" Fredpool was angry now and breathing heavily.

Deadpool hopped off the bar, held out his arms and said "No need to thank me now give me a hug non-canon bro"

Fredpool then stabbed Deadpool in the chest and then kicked him backwards into the bar. Deadpool did not retaliate. Fredpool then took another stab but Deadpool got out of the way and Fredpool accidentally stabbed Gary the Jukebox. Fredpool paused still with his blade stabbed into Gary.

Gary then said as he went offline "Why? Why do you hate me Fredpool what did I ever do to yooooooouuuuu..."

Fredpool then looked over to Deadpool who had a look of extreme anger on his face.

Deadpool said in a quiet rage "You just ... for the second time killed my Jukebox... WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU!"

Fredpool yelled back at Deadpool "You left me with dingos!"

Deadpool yelled "Why do you keep bringing that up I only did that because you were mind numbingly non-canonly ANNOYING!"

Fredpool then ran over to Deadpool and punched him in the face but Deadpool met him with another hit and the two began a fight which only seemed to consist of punching the other in the face. After a while of this Deadpool slipped on a pair of bladed knuckles and punched Fredpool right in the face. Fredpool stepped backwards and held his face in pain. Fredpool noticed that his face wasn't healing.

Fredpool then asked "What is that thing?"

Deadpool looked at his little toy and replied "It is the bladed knuckle of powerfulness from a dragon spirit known only as asskickasaurus"

"Really" said Fredpool"

Deadpool then rejected his previous comment saying "Ha ha. No it's just a blade dipped with in a highly corrosive and long lasting acid that eats away at the skin while the body is trying to heal. So in other words that big scratch on your face isn't going away anytime soon"

Fredpool held his face which still burned from the acid and asked "You jerk this is never going to stop hurting is it?"

Deadpool replied "Don't worry buddy you'll get used to it"

Fredpool ran to Deadpool and pushed him. He then yelled "I don't even know why I'm wasting my time with you. You just sit here and think about yourself and you never think about what your actions do to anyone!"

Deadpool then yelled back "Well no one really cared when I got cancer, nobody cared when I volunteered for some big military project, nobody cared when my healing factor didn't work, nobody cared when some jerk face cut out my heart and nobody cared when I lost my favourite shampoo! So you explain to me why the heck I should care about anyone else and their stupid not as bad as mine problems"

Fredpool then walked to the door and said before leaving "You know Deadpool the only reason I thought you would help me was because I actually thought you weren't completely insane but you know what. You are ... you're just a sad crazy little man who people are too scared of to say that themselves" Fredpool then looked around at Club Deadpool and said "Nice place"

Deadpool then stood there and didn't no what random thing to do, he didn't even see the point of any of it. He simply looked around at his own club and said "Yeah... It is a nice place"

A new Gary the Jukebox rolled out and said "Hey Deadpool how bout a PARTAY!"

Deadpool then took out a hand gun and shot Gary... several times.

To Be Concluded


	10. Chapter 10

The not so grand finale

"Okay picture it? Iron Ham and Doy destroy New York and I inexplicably become king of the world

No ... That's not how I'm going to end the story.

"Aw come on man it's the perfect ending, it involves me becoming more important than I already am by doing absolutely nothing"

Well then what happens to Fredpool in this ending of yours?

"Well isn't it obvious he becomes a pregnant unicorn frog bound for Uranus"

...

"What?"

Are you on something right now?

"Ha no... maybe"

Whatever let's just get this story over with. Anyway Fredpool wandered around looking for Iron Stan and Roy, killing any soldiers he found along the way.

Fredpool observed another pigeon (or in other word useless lacky)from an alley and stealthily made his way across the street. Fredpool walked up behind the guard and prepared to assassinate him when suddenly Iron Stan dropped from a rooftop. Fredpool turned and attempted to get out of the way of Iron Stan who swiped his metallic arm at Fredpool, knocking him to the ground. The soldier Fredpool was about to kill then revealed himself to be Roy. Iron Stan then walked over to Fredpool and picked him up. He then held back Fredpool arms as Roy drank a Red Bull.

Roy cheered "Hoooooop yeah! It's time for a beat down"

Roy then began to assault Fredpool with a barrage of rapid punches and kicks.

Back in Club Deadpool: Deadpool paced around attempting to comprehend the situation which is far to serious for his liking.

Deadpool rambled to himself "Do I help him or do I just sit here and drown my apparent sorrows in chimichangas?"

Deadpool continued to ponder this and then said excitedly "Oh I know! I can just ask my magic 7 ball" Deadpool then took a black and red 7 ball out of one of his various pockets and shook it. Deadpool then read his results "You're a jack-ass" Deadpool paused and then yelled "Hey! You stupid 7 ball!" Deadpool then threw the ball at a wall and kicked a bench. Deadpool then yelled "Ow! Stupid bench!" Deadpool then took out one of his swords and slashed the bench in half. Deadpool then walked out of his club in a huff.

Outside Deadpool sat down on the sidewalk. Just then Fredpool came falling from the sky and landed right beside Deadpool. Deadpool did not acknowledge Fredpool.

Roy and Iron Stan then ran to where Fredpool had been thrown. Roy cheered "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaah! Do that again Stan"

Iron Stan then stepped on Fredpools back and then grabbed his neck and pulled.

"Uh Deadpool I could really use your help right now" Fredpool squeaked out.

Iron Stan then threw Fredpool against a building. Roy whooped and hollered happily and then turned to notice Deadpool sulking.

Roy sat down beside Deadpool and asked "What's the matter maaaaaaaaaaaan?"

"Eh I'm just upset because your punching bag doesn't like me anymore" replied Deadpool.

Roy then patted Deadpool on the back and said "Don't worry maaaaaan he'll be dead pretty soon"

Deadpool suddenly snapped back into reality and said "Wait" Deadpool sniffed the air "You smell like... Red Bull"

Roy then took a Red Bull out of his belt and chugged it. Roy then began to walk back over to where Iron Stan was fighting Fredpool.

Deadpool thought back to the first time he had a Red Bull "Oh can I tell this part?"

Okay Deadpool you can tell this part "Awesome! Okay but I'm going to need an entire other quotation category thingy for this story"

"Okay get this the first time I had a Red Bull it was only half full and the store dude wouldn't give me a refund because he was all like "Dude you stole that" so I was all like "I don't think so punk" then he was all like "Whatever make me" so I was all like shooting him in the face and that's the story of me hating cashiers ... oh and Red Bull"

...0_0 ... What!? "What?... that's what happened"

Are you sure because that seemed a little crazy...Oh "Now you're catching on"

Well what are you going to do to this Red Bull loving punk "Kill him"

Well then get to it I'd hate to have to come up with another Fan character to replace Fredpool.

Deadpool then walked up behind Roy who was currently walking back to Iron Stan and Fredpools fight. Deadpool tapped Roy on the shoulder and as Roy turned around Deadpool pushed a pie into his face (don't ask me where he got the pie).

Roy then wiped the pie from his mask and asked "What kind of a pie was that?"

Deadpool replied in a sinister tone "Mwa ha ha. It was an apple pie"

Roy narrowed narrowed his eyes and said "I only like blue berry..." Roy was then struck in the face by another pie (honestly I don't know where he's getting these things). Roy then took his finger and wiped a little bit of pie off his mask and then licked his finger clean and said "This is cherry... IHATE CHERRY!"

Roy then kicked Deadpool in between the legs causing him to collapse to the ground. Roy then prepared to drink another Red Bull but the can was slashed by Deadpool. Roy (in slow motion and with a choir singing in the back ground) watched as his precious Red Bull fell to the ground. Unfortunately if their was anything more dangerous than Roy with Red Bull it was Roy after losing a Red Bull. Roy began to shudder and soon became like a jack hammer going up and down rapidly.

Deadpool laughed at Roy who then charged at Deadpool. Roy assaulted Deadpool with an unstoppably fast array of punches and kicks. Not even Deadpool could stop the incredibly swift attacks.

Meanwhile over at Fredpool and Iron Stans fight. Iron Stan grabbed Fredpool head and continually smashed Fredpool head on a wall to which Fredpool reacted only by saying "Ow! Ow! Ow!"

Iron Stan then dropped Fredpool and asked in an emotionless tone "Why won't you die?"

Fredpool replied "If I told you why you wouldn't believe me"

Iron Stan then looked over to Roy and Deadpools fight and asked "Who's your friend?"

Fredpool looked over to the fight and realized that Deadpool had actually came to help him. Fredpool suddenly felt a burst of energy come to him. Iron Stan slammed down his hand but Fredpool managed to get out of the way. Fredpool then quickly punched Iron Stan in the face several times. Iron Stan then swiped at Fredpool again but missed. Fredpool then stabbed Iron Stan arm. Iron Stan then revealed his arm cannon and fired at Fredpool. Fredpool stealthily dodged the shots and took a hand gun off his belt and fired straight into Iron Stans cannon causing it to malfunction. Iron Stan stared at his cannon in bewilderment.

Fredpool then ran to Iron Stan and jumped at him (unveiling one of his arm blades) and stabbed him in the chest. Iron Stan then swung himself around attempting to shake Fredpools blade (which was still lodged in his chest) out of him. Fredpool persistently hung onto his stabbed hold. Finally Iron Stan stopped and grabbed Fredpool and gave him a deadly tight bear hug.

Back at Deadpool and Roy's fight. Deadpool still was unable to stop the rapidly moving Roy.

Deadpool yelled "You are really getting annoying!"

Deadpool then noticed Roy beginning to slow down. Deadpool then punched at Roy and knocking the now normal moving man off his feet. Roy held his nose in pain and got back up on his feet. Roy then attacked Deadpool with a round house kick that seemed unusually slow. Deadpool dodged the attack easily and then watched as Roy began to move slower. Roy punched at Deadpool and Deadpool watched as the fist slowly moved towards his face.

Deadpool observed the slow motion fist and said "Oh I get! You need Red Bull to have the energy to move at a normal pace"

Roy slowly denied this saying "NNNooooooooo wwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy yy mmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn yyyyyyyyyyoooooooooouuuuuuu oooooooouuuuuutttttttt yyyyyyyyooooooo mmmmiiiiinnnndddde"

Deadpool stared at Roy and then poked him in the nose and watched as Roy slowly reacted.

"Dude this is too sad" What?

"You seriously gave this guy the disability of needing Red Bull to move fast" Well... Yeah don't you think it' original.

"Dude there's originality and then there's this"

Roy asked slowly "Wwwwwhhhhhhhhoooooo aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrreeeeee yyyyyyyyyyyooooooooouuuuuuu ttttttttaaaaaaaallllllllkkkk kkkkkiiiiiiiiinnnnnngggggg tttttttttooooooo?"

What's wrong with that?

"Well lets just say that it's sssssstttttttuuuuuupppppiiii iidddddd" Ha Ha Ha.

"Oh so you got what I did there?" Yeah... you want to get back to the story?

"Yeah I guess so. This guys just about to land a punch on me" Deadpool stares at Roy "This is just sad" Deadpool then walked away from Roy who still moved slowly.

Meanwhile Fredpool attempted to break free of Iron Stan grasp when he suddenly heard a small beeping sound. Iron Stan stopped and noticed that something had been placed on his back. Iron Stan then dropped Fredpool and grabbed what was on his back. Iron Stan observed the device and read a note saying "This is a bomb Love Deadpool" Iron Stan realized this and then attempted to throw the bomb away but it blew up before he could, he was then blown into a wall by the explosion.

Fredpool slowly got back up and saw Deadpool standing in front of him. Fredpool and Deadpool exchanged a silent stare but the silent was broken by Fredpool "You know this doesn't change anything"

Iron Stan then burst out of the rubble and charged at the two. Iron Stan was now heavily damaged and part of his head was now uncovered revealing part of his face. Deadpool then took out a hand gun and shot Iron Stan in the face. The metal titan then finally collapsed to the ground.

Fredpool observed his ally turned enemy on the ground and then turned to see Roy running at him slowly. Deadpool pointed his gun at Roy. Fredpool then then turned to face Deadpool said "Come on man it's a sad enough predicament he's in anyway"

Deadpool sighed and shot Roy in the foot and laughed as Roy slowly reacted to the pain.

Deadpool then asked "Okay now are we cool?"

"No... well maybe more than we were before" Replied Fredpool.

The two walked back to Club Deadpool.

Fredpool looked over at the wall which still had a truck in it and said "Uh... Sorry about that"

"Eh it doesn't matter. I actually don't even own this place" Said Deadpool.

Suddenly a large Scottish man in a kilt entered. The man yelled "Oh no you stupid Goats. You've destroyed my place of business why would you do that to a Scottish man that hasn't even gone grey in the hair. Why I ought to make Hagus out of ya"

Fredpool stared at Deadpool and asked "So you let this place get destroyed and you didn't even own it"

Deadpool replied "Ha. Yeah"

Fredpool paused for a moment and then yelled "Oh man that's actually kind of funny"

The two laughed together but then Scottish man then grabbed them both by the throat and began to strangle them. After about twenty minutes of strangling, the Scottish guy simply threw Deadpool and Fredpool out of his now destroyed club.

The two continued to laugh and Deadpool asked "So what now?"

Fredpool replied "Well I guess I go back to Australia and take down that stupid punk who planned this stupid attack"

Deadpool sighed and asked "Isn't it kind of strange that at the start you were all mean but now your like a superhero"

Well that's because I figured the story would be better if Fredpool were a more likable character.

Fredpool looked around and asked "Who said that?"

Deadpool then said "Oh that's just... Never mind you wouldn't be able to grasp the concept"

Fredpool then stood up and asked "Well maybe I'll see you again someday Deadpool?"

Deadpool shrugged his shoulders and then looked behind Fredpool to see Roy and Iron Stans body gone. Fredpool turned and also saw that they were gone.

Fredpool then began to walk away and said while walking "Look me up if your ever in Australia"

Deadpool waved and said "Yeah. (probably not gonna happen). See ya non-canon Bro"

Deadpool also began to walk away but for a different reason... Deadpool would obviously be wanted by the New York authorities.

"I mean think about it I've stolen and extremely vandalized a Scottish guys bar, I've sold an insane amount of drinks without a license and most importantly I'll probably be a suspect in a massive terrorist attack that probably left hundreds of people dead and the author was to lazy to say what happened to the other soldiers."

"I give this story a 2 for plot, a 3 for action, a 1 for characters other than me and a 10 for my part in the story"

Whats with all these low scores?

"Well let's face it you don't really put much effort in"

What! I'll show you.

"Oh yeah how!?"

I'll make a sequel and your going to get your but kicked in it.

"Oh Yeah!"

YEAH!

"WELL THEN WHO'S GOING TO BE THE VILLAIN?"

I can't tell you that it would spoil the story if I make a second one.

"Can you end this story already so I can get back to looking at over proportioned Marvel girls"

Your disgusting.

"Man I tell ya your really wasting peoples time here"

Well maybe if you shut up I could end the story.

"..."

Deadpool?

"Dude you said if I stopped talking you'd stop writing"

Oh yeah. Well anyways THE END.

"Dude you call that an ending?"

Why what's wrong with it?

"It's got no soul"

What?

"Here let me do it"

_**The End**_

_**Halleluiah **_

"Now that's how you end a story"

Shut up.

"You shut up"


End file.
